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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Is it through sports?
Being strict about friends and always knowing where they are?
Having high standards about school and grades?
Expecting them to have a job during high school or during the summer?
Do you condone/not condone any drug/alcohol use?
How do you allow dating, and what are your expectations regarding sexual activity?[/b]

I have very young daughters, but I am looking ahead to the teenage years and how I can hopefully keep them on a good track. I was a fairly easy teen. I wanted to be around horses or my horsey friends 24/7. All my parents had to do was threaten my horse time. I would have NEVER thought it acceptable to get drunk. Like any teenager, I disliked my parents a good bit of the time, but I really look back and appreciate the stability of having chores, working part time since age 13 at a barn and earning/saving money, being able to have a wholesome childhood playing outside, doing many outdoor activities, even being bored and reading a lot of books or entertaining myself, having nightly family dinner at the table. This was all 15 years ago; kids didn't have cell phones when I was in high school. I am so scared of raising children in the age of smartphones.

[b]Can kids even have the type of childhood we had in the 90s/2000's anymore? I kind of appreciate the fact that I didn't live a whole adult life of drinking, drugs, sex, and relationships during high school.[/b]

I feel like if a kid wants to do adult things like sex or drinking, they should be prepared for other fun adult things like rent, grocery bills, doing laundry, car note, car and health insurance, and able to financially support a baby. If a kid wants to do illegal things like drugs, getting drunk in public... they should be prepared for the consequences of illegal activities, like going to jail, and jeopardizing their future job prospects.

What is the magic balance of strict but not too strict? [/quote]

Is it through sports? --&gt;  Yes.  Also:  Music, volunteer activities, church youth group, summer programs in their areas of interest.

Being strict about friends and always knowing where they are? --&gt; Yes and no.  You mostly cannot control their friends, but yes to always knowing where they are and who they are with.

Having high standards about school and grades?  --&gt;  Yes.  As and Bs are expected, mostly As.  If you are struggling in school it is because you need help and extra practice.

Expecting them to have a job during high school or during the summer? --&gt;  Yes, especially in late high school.

Do you condone/not condone any drug/alcohol use?  --&gt;  Do not condone it for underage teens and we make that message clear.  We also model responsible drinking.

How do you allow dating, and what are your expectations regarding sexual activity? --&gt; My kids (18 and 16) do not date, but if they did we would have the above expectations wrt friends about dating.  RE sex, we talk about sex and our values about sex.  If they were dating, I would not make it easy for them to find a place to be alone with their partner.  :)

RE sex, drinking and drugs today relative to the 80s and 90s:  Teens are are drinking and using drugs less often, and they aren’t smoking as much, according a government survey of risky youth behaviors.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/cdc-survey-finds-decline-risky-behaviors-teens-article-1.2667880[/quote]

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