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[quote=Anonymous]OP, my DH and I decided not to do IVF. Part of it was financial and partly the fact that I have other health issues and have worked very hard just to keep and attain the level of health I have.

I just always assumed I would have children "someday" but was never child-obsessed like many women I knew.  Married late and started in my mid-30s. I was never even able to get pregnant at all. We had some financial setbacks and career problems and had to get through those before even considering investing funds into infertility treatments.

I've ended up feeling like I can not talk to others about the decision, because the pressure to do IVF is real. I've since gone through a surprisingly early menopause. We always thought we would adopt, but are in our late 40s now and really don't want to that as well.

I've been depressed off and on for awhile, am seeing a therapist, but feel as though I have no one, except my DH and one other friend, to talk to about the whole situation without being pressured to adopt or do some heroic medical procedure to get pregnant.

One thing I am doing is trying to think of all the couples or singles I admired in my life who did not have children. I am older, so knew many people who were childless before IVF was an option and got on with their lives the best they could. I also knew many adoptees who were never happy with their adopted parents and had serious problems (which has also affected my interest in adoption.)

I'm allowing myself to grieve too, and accept that I have mixed feelings.

Have found that the reddit Infertility Childfree community has been helpful--https://www.reddit.com/r/IFchildfree/

Basically I am coming to terms with the fact that I am not interested in overcoming what seem like overwhelming odds and overwhelming expenses to have a family. I do feel like I am missing out and will never have the experiences of others. Trying to move forward and live the life I have. [/quote]

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