Reply to My boyfriend has a "Friend"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Posssible other explanation as a guy.. If I'm texting with a person who is my g/f, then I don't mind having other conversations with others as I'm sitting at the phone waiting for her to respond. Maybe it's timed based on that.[/quote]

If I'm texting with my wife anyhow, I'm likely to send other texts (in fact, its the only time I'd initiate a text conversation) with others just because.

It does sound like the total volume is a little troubling. It implies that he doesn't feel like he has other people to talk to about certain issues. It could be something in your relationship (maybe you two are bad at small talk?) or he could not have a good group of male friends. I doubt he has any intent of having an affair, but obviously if he ends up feeling the friend is the only person who understands him in the world and other things get bad in his life, it could end up like that. But I don't think its in your interest to confront him or force him to cut her out, since that will make the problem worse. If you are worried, your options are to break up with him or to try to address the underlying issues (e.g. you two finding more similar interests to talk about, him spending more time with close guy friends, etc.)[/quote]

I don't know if I should have or not but I asked him about her. In a very friendly, non-accusatory way. She is some super successful person at the company, he is levels below her in the company, that they just have a bunch of things in common and she is single too. Compared to her I look like a real slouch career wise and accomplishments. Ok I know that is a little down on myself and I should be saying  "He is dating me, not her" but why so much conversation,connection between them. He doesn't call her his best friend just a good friend.[/quote]

If I had a chance to have a good texting relationship with someone several rungs above me at my company I would definitely take advantage of it. And I don't think guys are that impressed by career success in terms of dating strategy (see long and often offensive DCUM thread on whether guys date women with unimpressive jobs). The volume does seem a little weird to me. I don't see what's in it for his friend.[/quote]

There is hardly any texting involving work at all. I am not sure what she is getting out of it. He ask her all sorts of questions and the advise she gives him I can see him doing exactly what she is telling him to do. From minor things to what doctor to use to things like what he should do concerning things involving me. The other thing is most of these text are initiated by him to her. Once he text her, then it is on with the back and forth. I also found a 3hr phone call to her while he was driving to see me. Hung up just as he got here. He could have been on the phone with me but he wasn't.

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