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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH and I have gone through this.  It's hard to have sex after so long of not.  It just feels awkward.  Part of a good marriage is communication--even when it's uncomfortable.

We had had the talk but just didn't know how to get across that bridge.  One night I sent the kids on a sleepover, made fun appetizers, and opened a bottle of wine.  We just kept drinking.  It led to easy fun sex and as the pp said, you just have to do it again until sex is the new norm.
[/quote]

Did sex become the new norm for you? If so, how long before sex could just be fun and casual without necessarily needing to ship out the kids and drink? [/quote]

It did.  But sex for us has always been fun and we're both fairly high drive  and we're still attracted to each other.  The drought happened because of kids, depression, and sheer exhaustion.  It probably took about 3 months of actually paying attention to the need to have sex to bring it back and then another year to get the intimacy back.  We ended up going back to dating each other.  And we treated each other as we would a new date--respectful, listening, kind, interested in what the other person had to say, consideration given to time and availability.  I guess we stopped taking each other for granted.

Now it's much more easy, fun, and spontaneous.  [/quote]

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