Reply to I'm probably being too sensitive, but help me answer unsolicited questions about single mom status

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Reply to "I'm probably being too sensitive, but help me answer unsolicited questions about single mom status"

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[quote=Anonymous]I have lots of friends around the country from various stages of life; school, training, etc. Four years ago I became a single mom. The pregnancy was unplanned but welcomed, I have a calm/reasonable relationship with my daughter's dad (although we're not together and he's unfortunately largely uninvolved, at his choice). My daughter and I do very well, I have a large, involved family and our lives are happy and drama-free. What I've noticed is that when these friends from my past (many of whom I haven't spoken to in several years) reach out to me on facebook or whatever, often the very first thing they want to know is my parenting status. Am I doing this solo? How involved is the Dad? What's the story?

To that last one, I take real offense. There's no "story", at least not one I'm interested in condensing into a two line exerpt on FB. No, I didn't approach parenting in a traditional way, but we lead happy, stable lives that I'm proud of (and of note, work my ass off to make happen).

Anway, I understand their curiosity. And maybe if they came to town and we had a nice dinner out to catch up, I'd go into detail. But to randomly reach out to say hi, then by the way, where's the child's dad? Seems invasive and gossipy. I'm certainly not going to message back and say, "how's your marriage?".

I'm definitely sensitive about this. Mostly because I have a deep sadness that DD's dad has been such a disappointment, despite my best efforts to keep him involved. I've had to come to terms with that and it's not a "story" I feel like sharing at whim. So far my response has been to treat the question like any other topic that's no one else's business: I just don't answer it. My responses back are friendly and upbeat, but I don't feel the need to share info just because it's asked.

Other thoughts? Am I seeing malintent where there is none?[/quote]

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