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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I never thought I'd write a post like this.  I was always on the fence about having children, and I still am, actually.  Someone could tell me tomorrow that I could indeed have a successful pregnancy, and I'd still have doubts and reservations.  That's why I'm so confused about my emotions.

I've had multiple miscarriages.  The last one, testing showed Down syndrome.  Given my age (40), I suspect my eggs are just old. I don't want to go through another miscarriage.  The hormonal rise and then abrupt fall was actually hard on me.

But I still get these pangs of sadness. [b] I don't want to do IVF.  [/b] And, sure, the doctor says that I could still have a successful pregnancy.  So you would think the pangs of sadness make me want to keep trying.  But I just don't want to keep at it.   The last 3 years have been exhausting.

I'd like advice on how to move on and be okay with it.  Anyone go through this?   The most ridiculous part of it all is that I think I could be happy if I would just let go of that horrible feeling that I'm missing out on something.  It's not even something I've ever been sure I wanted.   [/quote]

If you want a baby do IVF.  Stop overthinking everything.  If you don't want a baby badly enough then don't do it.  If you do IVF so pgs testing. [/quote]

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