Reply to Wife's birthday coming up -- if her ex-affair partner contacts her I am going to lose it

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Reply to "Wife's birthday coming up -- if her ex-affair partner contacts her I am going to lose it"

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[quote=Anonymous]
[quote]    Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
        You need a plan.

My H had an affair, and we are divorcing, but we are amicable... but with that comes rules. OW is done... no contact.

We have mutual friends and my H had to go to a work event and she could possibly be there. So we had a plan. If she shows up he leaves, no hi, no glance, just leave. When her friends started to show up, he left.

So you can't control him but your W has to tell you and you have to remain calm or she will stop telling you things.

How do you get to dictate that as a term to a man that you are divorcing?

I imagine because her husband wants the split to be amicable. [/quote]

Not PP, but I can imagine several scenarios in which this is possible.  For example, my husband had an emotional affair - we are working through it, but if things don't work out, we will divorce.  I prefer an amicable divorce, but I do need him to cut off 100% of ties to OW.  Since she's his subordinate, all it would take is one phone call from me to have him fired.  He's since moved to a different department, but still.  He has reasons to comply. 
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