Reply to Wife's birthday coming up -- if her ex-affair partner contacts her I am going to lose it

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Reply to "Wife's birthday coming up -- if her ex-affair partner contacts her I am going to lose it"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I guess I'm anxious because I haven't fully built back the trust yet. It takes a long time to rebuild that.

On the one hand, I don't even want to mention him. On the other hand, I feel like I should say to her, "If he reaches out to you, I want to know," and then I need to trust that she'll tell me. If he reaches out, she doesn't tell me and I find out, then all our reconciliation efforts are out the window and I have to assume the worst. I was trickle-truthed for months about him and I can't handle much more of it. [/quote]

I think this is a reasonable request. Like someone else said, you can't control the ex-AP but she can control how she handles any attempts to contact. It wouldn't be fair to hold it against her if he reaches out to her. But you can hold it against her if she does anything other than ignore it. I say this because I am in a committed relationship of over 2 years, and an ex boyfriend occasionally out of the blue will contact me and send me pictures of his daughter in an attempt to connect again under the guise of "friendship." I completely ignore him. I can't change my number because it would be a huge pain in the butt with work. But my current fiancé understand how my ex is and knows I ignore him and trusts me to do the right thing. Some exes just don't get it. But as long as SHE gets it, that's what matters. [/quote]

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