Reply to I'm on the verge of divorce, talk me down

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[quote=Anonymous]It is understandable. But it is not worth divorcing over.  Your life wont be easier. I totally get it. My husband is similar. And we both work full time. I finally realized that he would never become tidy because he doesn't see it.  He would never open mail or even pick it up off the floor. He opens and does not close. He turns on and does not turn off. He will do laundry but not fold or put away. He will do dishes but leave counters dirty. He does care though. So, I had to do a couple things. First, I shifted more tasks to him that do not involve cleaning/tidying. Like, he does all the grocery shopping, all the errands (cvs, hardware store, cleaners), all yard work. He will do specific things if i make a big deal (please vacuum). He also takes the kids more on the weekends and I spend an hour or two cleaning and sorting, with music, and then spend time on me. Second thing I did was hire someone to tidy up. Not clean, but tidy. She is also our afternoon sitter, so it works well--that is probably not feasible for you at this point but if it is, its great to have someone help out a couple times a week--she mostly does dishes and laundry. Third thing is that I lowered our standards. I just accepted that with two kids things were chaotic. We clean up before people come over but until then, there are shoes out, and things to put away. [/quote]

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