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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Thanks for the replies.  I realize I left out something because to me it's obvious, but I should have said it so PPs know I recognize it--my sweet DB is not swell, I agree with a PP that he is 1/2 the problem because he has no spine.  That's why his wife is the way she is (I watched that dynamic get worse over the years), and that's why his DD is the way she is.  And I don't know about my DB, but the DW and Larla seem permanently malcontent.

That being said, I'm with 14:46 and 14:55 in that I've been trying to make this work for over a decade and I should throw in the towel.  I didn't want to throw the baby out with the bath water, though (meaning, the sweet boy cousin).  And really there is no nice way to get just the boy over here.  And as bratty as the girl is (and I stand by that, no internalized misogyny here, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, 22:01) anyways as bratty as she is, she's just a kid, and I don't want to do anything to hurt her feelings.[/quote]

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