Reply to How much patience before giving up on therapy?

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Reply to "How much patience before giving up on therapy?"

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[quote=Anonymous]i'm so sorry, OP. I hear you. This is a tough situation.

Here's the thing: Therapy only works if you do the work. You can waste YEARS "going to therapy" and talking about whatever for an hour. If you don't really dig deep, and bring fearless honesty to each session, and fully commit to cleaning out your bags, therapy is just a bunch of talk. You've got to find a good therapist who pokes at you (if you like them, they're not doing their job), and be willing to show all your flaws.

In your husband's case, therapy (and his accompanying diagnosis) has become the latest excuse. It's not at all unique to him; people justify their actions all the time. But if he's willing to say "you can't be mad at me because my disorder is a get-out-of-jail-free card", then he's not really doing the work at all.

And you can't do it for him.

All you can do is decide if they way things are is okay with you, and then move accordingly. I stayed in a miserable marriage for far too long because the logistics of leaving were intimidating. I'm much happier now (if broke  :lol: ). Happiness has value, too. There are ways to make things work, if you're committed to making things work. This applies to him, and to you, and to pretty much any decision.

Good luck, OP. I'm rooting for you![/quote]

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