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[quote=Anonymous]My husband has (in his own words) been a jerk to me for years. After a couple of different therapists and doctors, he has been diagnosed with ADHD. It presents itself in typical adult ADHD ways, so while he's successful at work and at his hobbies, he's totally checked out of family and home life and saves zero mental energy or effort for us. He's on medication but has otherwise but lazy and uncommitted to enact changes in routine and behavior that doctors/coaches have said are necessary to manage his condition. He's totally functional at work and on his own, but basically a mean jerk in the context of our family life (we have a daughter) and our relationship, and barely does anything around the house. We have blow-ups every other night, and after living like this for years I am physically and emotionally depleted and so tired of being treated so badly. He's said "you can't be mad at me for a medical condition". I compared it to someone who has a heart condition and isn't eating right/exercising/taking meds, and he spent the rest of the night picking apart that analogy and getting angry that I made it. And when he's really annoyed he tells me that ADHD isn't even a real thing (despite what doctors have told him). His ADHD isn't visible to friends and family so I'm totally isolated and feel like I'm pretending to have a totally different life than I do all of the time.

How long do I wait for him to improve before giving up?[/quote]

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