Reply to Best/worst time to move once kids are in school?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The sooner the better. We moved when I was in 7th grade and it was just awful.[/quote]

I moved both in 6th grade and then 8th grade and then again during high school. I have so much social anxiety now it's hard to function. [/quote]

Me too on all counts.  Do you think your anxiety is caused by the moving around and failing to establish deep friendships?  Is this a common cause?[/quote]

PP, here, I also moved in 3rd grade and 4th grade. So yes, I completely think my social anxiety and my need to not be in crowds of people or meet new people is a sort of defense mechanism that is because of moving so much. Now that I'm older I realize how damaging the moves were to my ability to blend in and make/keep friends. I get along well with people at work, however I really have incredible anxiety going into meetings or new places. With all of the reports that have been released on the past month discussing how terrible it is to move children around, there is no doubt in my mind it had a horrible affect on me.[/quote]

I don't discount your experience, but it is not universal.  I know quite a few military kids who say they are more outgoing and good at making new friends because they moved a lot.  I think it depends on the kid's underlying personality.  Also, that European study that showed bad outcomes for kids that moved didn't control for other factors that caused the moves -- death, divorce, economic insecurity, etc, which seems like a major flaw to me.  If they'd done a study of kids in otherwise stable families who moved, I'd take it more seriously.[/quote]

I was the first poster who posted about moving in 7th grade (midway through the school year, not even over the summer!) and we had also moved in 3rd - at the end of 3rd - so I finished out 3rd grade at one school and started 4th at another. That wasn't as bad. 3rd grade is the latest I would personally move a child if they had to start in a new school. However in both circumstances, we moved to places where "new kids" in school were relatively rare - small towns where a lot of people did K-12 in the same school system and their parents graduated from there too and their grandparents lived one town over or whatever. Maybe around here with a larger and more transient population, it's different and there are more new kids every year and you wouldn't feel like such an outlier.

I wouldn't say I have social anxiety as a result of moving but I definitely have a hard time opening up to people, trusting people, and making friends. I made friends at my new school that I started in 7th grade eventually, but many of them had known each other since early elementary school so I always felt like an outsider to an extent.[/quote]

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