Reply to From an Independent School Coach--Do's and Don'ts for Parents

Forum Index » Private & Independent Schools

Reply to "From an Independent School Coach--Do's and Don'ts for Parents"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I coach at the high school level at an Independent school in the area.  I know many on this board have younger kids, but it is worth putting out there for future parent generations  So here are some thoughts from the coaching sidelines, in handy "do's and don'ts" format:
1.  DO come to some games/matches if your schedule permits-- your kid will really appreciate it even if they don't tell you.
2.  DO cheer. But . . . Not with props like a cowbell or drum or horn-- your child will be mortified.
3.  DON'T hassle/berate/boo the officials.  Why?  Check out these reasons and pick one that appeals!  Very few parents know the rules well enough to truly critique some of the more technical calls.  Not every call against your team is a bad one (Law of averages supports this novel thought).  The officials on the field are sometimes screened from the vantage point that sideline fans have.  It is the coach's role, not the players' or fans,' to "work" the officials if they feel it necessary.  Parent bodies who scream at officials does not put your school in a good light.  It is tough to teach the kids sportsmanship if their parents whine/moan/protest about officiating.  The officials are not highly paid, and many are trying to give back something to a sport they care about.
4.  DON'T contact the coach about your kid's playing time--if you must be involved, perhaps before or after the season you can discuss with the coach your child's potential and off-season strategies for improvement.  (Still don't recommend it.)  If you want strong, self-reliant kids, they need to (1) occasionally deal with some disappointment in their lives; and (2) learn to have those conversations ("I feel like I could contribute more/is there a way I could improve so I can help the team more in competition") directly with the coach.
5.  DON'T buy into DCUM - type conspiracy theories about the team (rich kids don't get cut! Etc) Coaches make their own decisions and want to win--they often don't know "who" the parents are in terms of stature etc.
6.  DO pay attention to overuse issues.  Playing the same sport 300 days a year can overstress joints, tendons etc., not to mention burnout.  Consider having your child try a "new" sport or play multiple sports for the school -- your future Mia Hamm might turn out to be a whiz at cross - country or crew or lacrosse or field hockey or track and field.  Same goes for your future Hopkins laxer-- maybe he would enjoy football or wrestling too.
7.  DON'T assume that it is a bad experience just because your kid's team didn't win the league or (GASP!) even have a winning season.  You don't see what goes on at practice, for one thing.  The coach that shouts in games may be an incredibly encouraging teacher in a practice setting.  And as for the total experience?  Did your child get exercise?  Make good friends on the team? Improve in skills?  It is not all about the "W"s ( at this level, anyway!). 
8.  DON'T make the experience all about getting into college.  That is a valid reason to pursue a sport at a high level but make sure you and your family enjoy the experience for itself.
9.  DO give yourself credit for making the sacrifices you've made (tedious Saturday afternoons, long drives, cutting up the proverbial half time oranges) ton help your child be involved in athletics at any level.  It is worth it! [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics