Reply to How to help DD to be more assertive and have a social life

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DD is 14. she has friends but never invites anyone over.

Whenever we tell her that she can have friends over, she will reply that no one will come if she invites..
she gives any one of the reasons:
she is not cool enough,
there is some exam going on and they are studying,
busy with some competition,
she has to study..

Once she tried to invite, then another friend in the group took over and changed the meeting location to their home.
Now she does not even try to invite anyone..

How can I help DD have a social life?[/quote]

It doesn't sound like she's not trying to invite people over.  I would encourage her to make plans with one other friend preferably face to face or emailing/texting them directly.  A problem with social media is that it can actually make social interaction harder.

The other aspect to building friendships is being specific.  "Let's get together" or "Let's hang out" is vague.  If there's something specific that she likes to do, e.g., see a movie, ice skating, rock climbing, paint-your-own pottery, etc. it might be easier to pin a friend down.

Do you know the parents of the kids in her social circle?  You could initiate an invitation for a family get together, e.g., brunch or pizza night at your house or at a restaurant.  She's at the age where as a parent you can longer "arrange playdates," but there's nothing wrong in trying to foster social opportunities.

She also sounds like she lacks confidence.  I would make sure that she has something to do this summer that feeds/builds her interests whether it's sports, art, whatever.  Also, volunteering is a way for kids to feel like they've accomplished something.  GL.[/quote]

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