Reply to How to raise a self-driven child?

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[quote=Anonymous]To the greatest extent possible, let their drive naturally come from them without creating artificial motivation. Model that good work habits are just what people do in order to reach their goals... there aren't shortcuts, and most often nobody cares about your life and your success more than you do so there shouldn't need to be incentives. Most everything people want in life will require some sort of work to obtain, so the reason we work hard is to derive the benefits of our efforts and not just because someone "made" us do it.

When they're young, create a routine of "work before play" without ever specifically calling it that. Start good habits early.

Frame things in terms of goals and steps to get there, not requirements that must be met. Point out that the things they learn at school will have direct uses in their lives, and let them see how school concepts are relevant in yours. Almost any interest a kid has by mid-elementary probably ties into academics in some way. Help them realize that.  We never focused on grades at all, instead choosing to emphasize learning as much as possible as effectively as possible in order to maximize the tools we have at our disposal in life. To a certain extent, good grades and good study habits naturally followed that desire to acquire knowledge and make it useful.

I also made frequent use of the phrase "I already passed [X  grade]". The message I tried to give from about third grade on was -  This won't help my future; it is entirely to benefit yours. You are the only one who can own that and make choices or set priorities to make yourself the best that you can be.[/quote]

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