Reply to Guidance Needed - ADHD kid, family life, struggling to get on same page with DH

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[quote=Anonymous]I echo the advice from 12:16.  You DH sounds a lot like mine.  He was diagnosed with ADHD after our oldest (of 3) was diagnosed.  It explained a lot.  That was almost 13 years ago.  While he's more amenable than your DH is, he struggles when I don't lay out a schedule/routine.  Electronic calendars don't work for him (don't ask me why since he LOVES electronics) so we have a big piece of tile board (cheaper than a white board) where one side is the grocery list, the middle is the chore list and the other side is the schedule.  I still keep everything on shared Google calendars so he can check on his smartphone and also get addresses/telephone numbers.

I see a big pay off in enforcing this for years.  Two of my three kids have ADHD.  The oldest is so much like DH and still struggles with lists/calendars/schedules but is getting better (particularly when motivated).  My NT DD thrives with it and has become a mini-me.  She reviews the calendar/schedule/lists with DH to make sure it's followed and adds things to them. My youngest with ADHD also likes it.  He's not as good as his NT sister but he's got an anxiety component and understands managing to the calendar/schedule/list ensures things go smoothly.  He, too, will remind DH about things on the calendar and independently work it.  But, like I said, this was years in the making but so worth the effort.  Good luck.

Oh - forgot to mention, I concur with the PP that said having an outside professional tell your DH is far more effective than you telling him.  Must be something about shelling out $100+ that makes it more believable.  [/quote]

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