Reply to Did you learn how to ask for what you want in a relationship in an effective way?

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm 40, divorced, in a serious relationship.  I was in a long marriage where I exited full of resentment for having swallowed down my own needs, waiting for him to be a partner, and finally realizing it was never going to happen.  No regrets about ending the marriage, but I do realize that I was not good at asking for what I needed in that relationship and I need to learn.

I dated for a bit and had good experiences, now with this boyfriend for over a year.  Mostly it's an "easy" relationship in a good way--he delivers mostly everything I need without having to specify it, and vice versa.   Generally we communicate well and are in a good flow.

He just really disappointed me and I'm struggling to raise it in a productive way.  Basically, I needed some TLC and support during a tough time.  It's probably a misunderstanding overall (he was on a long work trip but knew I was in need, even a few texts to check in would have been appreciated but he was mostly silent).  He's back and cheerful and attentive.  I don't want to be Debbie Downer and go all "I'm disappointed in you", but I also don't want to swallow my disappointment.[/quote]

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