Reply to Difference of opinion on what makes a kitchen "clean"

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[quote=Anonymous]DH and I have a division of labor that basically boils down to: he does all the cooking and clean-up after meals, and I do everything else for our two children (baths, bedtime, dressing in the mornings, making lunches, etc.). It's not inequitable and we're fine with that split. The point of this post is about the cleaning. DH is a very good cook and enjoys making fairly elaborate meals, much more elaborate than I would do. He uses tons of dishes, pots, pans, the grill, the stovetop, etc., and cleans all that up. However, there's a big BUT coming. He frequently will mess up the counters and/or the floors and then either doesn't clean them at all or does a half-ass job. Examples are, he's carving a roast chicken on a cutting board and the juices overflow the wells on the edges. He will do a lackadaisical wipe-up that generally just moves the liquid around without getting it up. Or, he cooks on the stovetop and oil spatters onto the floor, where it is then tracked through the kitchen as he moves around doing things. He doesn't even seem to notice this and does not wipe it up, leading to greasy floors. These things drive me CRAZY and so I wind up cleaning them up myself behind him, and that's the issue: I am getting very sick of doing that. I enjoy his cooking and obviously benefit, but if I had my pick, I would take simple meals that make less of a mess because I don't want to have to clean it. However, I don't have my pick because cooking is something he genuinely enjoys. It's basically his hobby. I've started to speak up about the mess and ask him directly to do a better job of cleaning. I try hard not to be passive-aggressive or overly aggressive/nagging, but he gets defensive. And I do think his standards are lower and/or sometimes he doesn't see what I see. I've pointed it out but realize that approaches nagging and controlling. I'm genuinely trying to resolve this issue without lots of tension, which is what we've had lately. Any advice for how to state the issue in a way that he will not react badly to, would be most welcome. Also, we have a housecleaner every other week. I don't want to pay for every week and frankly that wouldn't even be enough.

TL;DR version: tips for dealing with DH who has different standards for "kitchen clean" than I do, other than me cleaning behind him because I feel like that will make our division of labor unequal.[/quote]

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