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[quote=Anonymous][quote]OP here, sorry, should have elaborated about my oldest. He has ADHD, so I have to really stay on top of him about school work, and as he's gotten older and the school demands have gotten greater, I find myself putting in more time and effort helping him keep things straight. I do try to make sure I'm not doing too much for him. He's a smart kid, but organization is an ongoing problem.[/quote]

OP, my middle child has severe ADHD.  I have taken a completely different tactic than you.  I worked and continue to work with him on the skills he needs to meet the greater demands rather than on helping him meet the demands.  My son needs to learn to be independent and not rely on me or his teachers to make him successful.  We have checklists.  I reorganized our house (got rid of the kitchen eating area and made it a place where we keep homework, shoes and other things that need to be organized).  On our backdoor, we have a big sign that reminds him to do certain things before he leaves the house.  He sets alarms on his phone.  He manages his  own schoolwork load - my involvement is that his teachers will call me if an assignment is not turned in on the day it is due and then I remind him to complete it before his extra time as provided for in his 504 plan expires.

Two of my kids are in a sport that requires 15-20 hours a week of practice.  They get home around 8:30 pm.  I bring food in the car when I pick them up, which means we rarely do dinners together - so we try to plan at least one family activity each week that we all enjoy so we can spend time together.  Also, we get together before bed and read.

Early in each school year, I work with them to make a daily plan of how they will fit everything in - what sorts of things they want for snacks, when they are going to do homework, how they will complete big projects, what school activities might interfere with their practice schedules, etc.  If need be, they write it down.  Within a few weeks, we don't need to talk anymore, unless there is a big school project or there is a schedule change.  I do find that I keep extra supplies around my house for big projects (poster boards, those tri-fold boards come to mind) because even though they are required to give me advance notice to purchase these things, my kids aren't perfect and I hate running around looking for an all night office supply store.  [/quote]

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