Reply to I need help accepting the relationship my ILs have w our children

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[quote=Anonymous]Your FIL is taking care of his other grandchildren.  He views them as his responsibility now, and probably feels like he is important, wanted, and actively contributing.  It's not about the money, or the fact that they can afford a babysitter.  If he has mental health issues, perhaps these children give him purpose.  
My sister's family lives 4 hours away, and we live 10 minutes from my parents.  They are so involved in my kids' lives.  Too involved.  But, my father had to retire earlier than he wanted to due to some health issues.  He now lives for these grandkids.  I wish we saw them less, but I know what joy he gets from "helping."   They hate driving and rarely see my sister's kids.  I feel guilty about this, but I know it's not because he doesn't like them or because my sister did something wrong.  It's just easier to put his energies into the kids who live down the road.
I wonder if you can let them know how disappointed the kids were that they were there for such a short visit, without being too guilt-grippy about it.  Maybe he needs to see that these grandkids need him too.[/quote]

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