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[quote=Anonymous]I'm in my 40s, and want to get Botox for the first time, and do a few other things to
fight aging. Nothing too huge, but I have the money and time, why not take care of myself a bit. I'm not vain, just an average looking mom, who wants to look nice in my 40s.  Anytime I mention this to my mom, or she notices I'm ordering salad instead of a burger, or that I'm working out in a new way, she gets so angry! She starts yelling at me about how she's old and look at her body and what am I worried about. She says I'm selfish.

When I was a kid she'd get mad anytime I talked about my looks. Like we were competing or something, it was so odd. She's not gorgeous or high maintenance or anything, but is just an average weight/height, colors her hair, wears some makeup but nothing excessive. As a teenager when I worried about my frizzy hair or acne she'd get pissed.  I had this blemish on my cheek that kept bleeding off and on for 2 years. Looked horrible. I got made fun of. I begged to go to the dermatologist and she'd act like I was being ridiculously vain. My dad finally took me, turned out it was skin cancer and had to be removed. She didn't say anything about it.

I love my mom. But this side of her is just so frustrating. Am I so horrible for wanting to look my best? I'm not a beauty by any stretch, but I stay in shape and look decent. My mom works out regularly and gets her hair done, eats well, but isn't extreme about anything. I think she looks great for 68. I know it's just hard for her to see herself age.  Unfortunately this is straining our friendship. What can I do? She's so nasty to me about it, and it's not like I can hide what I order. I've started avoiding being around her. Talking to her directly wouldn't work with her, she'd just get angry and defensive.[/quote]

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