Reply to Parents' money, and favoritism / greed (vent?)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'll be less harsh you, OP. Any estate planner will advise parents to plan for their assets in such a way that avoids exactly what you're describing.

Perhaps your sister "needs" more help, but why is that? Was she raised to be less capable? If so, your parents are paying to alleviate their guilt for failing her. Did she simply make bad decisions and she's being financially rewarded for that? Obviously that's a recipe for resentment.

If I were in a position to advise your parents, I'd advise them that it makes sense to leave their children equal amounts, unless they have serious reason to doubt either of your abilities to manage the resources responsibly, in which case they should set up a trust for lesser responsible person. But the asset division should still be equal and it's up to you all to manage it appropriately.

If I were in a position to advise you and your sister after you inherit the properties, I'd recommend getting an assessment on which properties are worth keeping and which you should sell. Split the proceeds of the sales equally. Split the revenue from the rental income equally. What you each do those funds once their yours is none of the other's business.

But, I'm not in a position to advise you, your sister, and your parents. Unfortunately, you're also limited in how much you can advise your parents. You've made your preferences known and they've ignored that. So accept it for what it is, and try to make the most of your relationship for what it is - not what you hope it will some day be. [/quote]

This is excellent.  I also would be less harsh with OP.  Sure, it is your parents money but as people age they can often start to make serious errors in judgement and as an adult child it can be difficult to know when to step in, if ever.  We are at the point now with my IL's.  This example is on a much smaller scale but recently my MIL let someone in the house and bought cremation services for thousands of dollars.  We looked at the contract and there are so many conditions that it will never be used.  How long though before she makes a more serious mistake?  You don't want elderly parents to make so many errors in financial judgement that they can't support themselves in their old age.  At some point, their money does become our concern, if only because we need to make sure that it isn't swindled away and is available for their care.[/quote]

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