Reply to Mother contacting my friends, boss, ex, etc

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When my mother gets upset with me over some perceived slight (last time it was because I didn't mail her pictures fast enough) she will start calling my childhood friends, my ex, [b]even my boss [/b] - to talk to them about our "fight", things she doesn't like about me, etc. I am not okay with this. I've asked her to stop and she says I'm controlling and she can call whomever she pleases. I'm almost 40yrs old. I'm over this. Of course, her behaviour doesn't end there, it's just one of many. Tell me it's okay to cut her out.[/quote]

How does she have your boss' #? My mom and I are close, but she doesn't even know my boss' or my co-workers' names. I also don't give family my work # since they can reach me on my mobile phone while at work.[/quote]

Not PP, but I am a lawyer. My mom knows which firm I work at and who my partner is and who the managing partner is and who the senior partners are and who my secretary is.   She hasn't called my bosses to talk smack about me, but she has gone out of her way to meet them and ingratiate herself with them.  They all think she is lovely.  She is pretty awful to me, but my entire firm thinks she is a saint. [/quote]

If she is so lovely to others (unless your colleagues are being over-polite and don't really mean when they say she is), there must be some positive side to her. She seems to have some issue with you or in general. Perhaps she is scared of getting old, or whatever, who knows.. While you have all rights to be upset, consider ways of helping her, maybe talk to her about your feelings and that you are trying to understand, and that if you cannot understand this, it will ruin your relationships as it becomes burden for you.. I think talking this out might help, don't yell, just talk.. easier said than done but I do think it works oftentimes[/quote]

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