Reply to Elderly Divorce for Financial Reasons

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[quote=Anonymous]Op here. I understand her position, I really do. She can live a long time and needs to be able to take care of herself if she gets sick. I get that. What I'm upset about is that no one was representing my dad -- that's all. My dad has rejected home care up to now but hopefully, when presented with the option of going to a nursing home he will accept that he needs home care. That would be preferable. I think that he will still want her to manage his care -- and I think that she still wants to right now. I will offer that he can come to where I live. He can't live in my house. He isn't the easiest person to live with and I would not do that to my husband or kids but there are places within 5 minutes of us and we could visit frequently. I have a very flexible work schedule (I work from home) and the hospital is 5 minute from my house. Everything is much closer than where he and his wife live compared to hospitals and nursing home, etc. But I don't think he would move and I don't think she would let him move b/c she doesn't want anyone to know about the divorce. What also makes me upset is that he had to make a decision about heart surgery and he was very clear that he liked his quality of life and wanted to maintain it and didn't want to end up in a nursing home. She pushed for the surgery (and pushed his doctors who were reluctant to do the surgery). He finally agreed and had the surgery. Now his heart is fine but everything else has gone downhill and his quality of life sucks. So he'll either end up in a hospital bed at home or in a nursing home which he didn't want. Hindsight is 20/20 but she should never have pushed so hard for the surgery.[/quote]

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