Reply to Elderly Divorce for Financial Reasons

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[quote=Anonymous]I apologize in advance for the long post. I found out the other day that my stepmother divorced my father for financial reasons. She is much younger than he is and has more assets (she's in her 60's and he's in his 80's). His health has severely declined in the last year and she has constantly lamented about protecting her assets for her kids. I knew she had been talking to her lawyer but she didn't tell me what her lawyer recommended until after the divorce was final. I am also a lawyer (although not a divorce or elder care lawyer) but she likely knew that I would have wanted to review the agreement and want my father's interests protected. The kicker is that (i) she told me as my dad was in an ambulance on the way to the ER and (ii) didn't also mention that she still loved him and considered herself married to him, etc. She just mentioned about how difficult it had been to care for him the past few weeks, etc. Note that they have been married 25 years (longer than my parents were married -- my mom died when I was a teenager) and he was no spring chicken when she married him (my dad was an older dad to begin with) so she should have known what she'd be in for.

She also plans move my dad to a nursing home b/c she can't care for him at home anymore. She thinks that as a result of the divorce, he will be eligible for Medicaid once he spends down his assets. I estimate that he between his social security and his assets, he can afford about 18 months in a nursing home out of pocket. But I think that his social security is more than the federal amount to qualify for Medicaid so who was looking out for him? I am so angry and appalled that she would do this without letting me know and without considering the ramifications for him. I haven't been able to talk to him since he is in the hospital and when I called yesterday he was eating lunch and couldn't talk and then he was napping. I am going to try again today before she visits. I am definitely going to consult the Council for Jewish Elderly in his state to get a referral on Monday (I found out late on Friday and have been processing since). Any other ideas would be helpful.
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