Reply to My husband is suicidal. I'm a mess.

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[quote=Anonymous]No one I can share this with, so I'm here to vent.

My husband has serious mental health issues. He's always dealt with anxiety and depression but in the last 9 months he's literally lost it. On top of that, we had a baby six months ago. I cannot devote the same amount of time or mental energy to him that I could before the baby arrived. I've tried - it's impossible. I harbor so much resentment towards him because he does nothing to help with the baby. I didn't sign up to be a single mom. His depression often manifests as anger so I don't say anything because I don't want to fight or get blamed for not being supportive. Truth is, I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water. My baby is at daycare 12 hours a day, my professional life is in chaos, motherhood is kicking my ass, and everyday I wonder if this is the day my husband is going to kill himself.

I think he needs to check himself into an inpatient facility but he refuses as he thinks it will hurt future job prospects by affecting his clearance. He's not currently on any medication. His doctor did write a script for Xanax this week, but because of insurance issues he won't get it for at least 2 weeks. I'm not sure why it took this long to get the script though. It makes me think DH is not telling the full story to the doc.

Today I found DH in our dining room, curled in the fetal position, crying. I demanded that we go to the hospital but he refuses. He said he didn't want to kill himself "right now" and it was just a panic attack so I should just leave him alone. Lots of arguing and yelling followed and ultimately we stayed at home. I didn't know what else to do when he refused to go.

I don't know what happens next. [/quote]

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