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Reply to "My SIL makes family functions unbearable - I really need to vent."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I think you need a family meeting about this, sans SIL.  Centering about when enough is enough, and what the grandparents's obligations are regarding money, and what the family's obligations are regarding including her in social gatherings if she continues to make it all about her. I think you are all miserable separately and feeling guilty, and that you will feel so much better if you can find a safe outlet to express everyone's feelings about the matter.

The reality is, some people need to be told directly what the boundaries are. If the whole family can agree on some, it might be a good idea to let SIL know what they are. She'll feel awful in the moment, but perhaps it will be healthier for her in the long-term.

She is not open to adoption?[/quote]

My DH's sister has wanted to have a family sit down about this for a while now. No one has wanted to exclude SIL though and go behind her back. We are all really trying to be considerate of her situation. I think I might back the idea though. It certainly couldn't make this situation worse.

My BIL has wanted adoption for a very long time. I don't know why she is not open to that idea. Maybe she will be now that their options are limited.[/quote]

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