Reply to Do you let your teen/preteen keep their phone in their bedroom at night?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If not, what is the reason?

My 13 y.o. DS is not happy about not having his phone at night. He was allowed to have it before, but that was a mistake on my part.
I want his phone charging in the kitchen at night, but he gives me a hard time about it. Asks for a reason, tells me he needs it for alarm clock, etc.
I really want to stick with the no phone at night routine, but I realize I made it complicated at the beginning when I let him have it.
How do I turn it around?
[/quote]

It sounds like you might be struggling yourself a little bit with understanding why this is a bad thing.  Just do some googling about [i]adult[/i] phone use in the bedroom/at night/while trying to fall asleep.  Many sleep experts have spoken out about how damaging this is for your sleep.  And, there is simply no case to make that your 13 year old needs to learn how to manage it or would somehow benefit from it.  The truth is that ALL of us seem to have trouble disciplining ourselves these days when it comes to phone use, and kids are notoriously worse than adults when it comes to self control.  Even if they are not doing anything inappropriate with their phone, it is just way too tempting to have it there.  Looking at it for 30 minutes turns into looking for an hour...or 2 or 3, with no parent hanging over their head so it's easy to start looking at things that are probably not good for them or just spending way too much time in general web surfing/ texting/ playing games.  None of these are healthy night time activities.

Anyway, you don't really HAVE to give a detailed reason.  I disagree that there is anything complicated about it -- you are feeling mommy guilt and you just need to stop it right now.  Simply be firm and refuse to negotiate.  Let DS know this is how things will be done from now on because you don't want him to develop bad habits at such a young age.  Buy him a $10 alarm clock from the grocery store, which will suffice to wake him up on time.  Then pick a time (the earlier the better, quite frankly) that the phone "goes to bed" and at that time it gets plugged in next to your bed.  Pick a time in the morning that he can retrieve it.  Help him think about some calm nighttime activities he can do in his bedroom; ideally ones that do not involve electronics at all.  Great chance to read a book or maybe write a card to his grandparents, say night prayers, draw a picture.  Though for some kids it's best not to start that conversation (about things they can do instead) because it gives them more opportunity to whine and debate with you - so obviously use your discretion here.  Even if he lays in bed bored out of his skull for 30 minutes, it's 1,000 times better for him than being on his phone.

You can do this.[/quote]

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