Reply to Overestimating importance of having relationship with grandparents?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One of the things that's been an eye-opener to me is seeing that my kids have a completely different "take" or relationship with my mother than I do.  I find her abrasive and difficult. They find her charming and fun.  Granted, they are young children and may outgrow this, but I don't think grandparents can be written off just because you are sour on them.  Kids should be able to have a relationship.  And just because Grandma sits on the couch doesn't mean she and the kids can't enjoy each other -- watching Frozen can be an activity that they really love.[/quote]

+1.

Just like our kids have a different take on their relationships with US, their parents, than we might expect...part of the reason I try to make the grandparents a big part of my kids' life (which is hard, because they live half a world away and it means they visit us for half year chunks of time) is because I've heard my own parents' stories and memories of their own grandparents, and their parents, and the ways in which their relationships with each were unique and helped shape them.

Now, OP, I have my moments of thinking "who are these people and why do I want them shaping my kids anyway?!?" but then a little voice says to me, "Well, knowing their grandparents will help our children understand us and our own experiences, and I am sending a message to my kids about what I think a family is...people who stick together and care for one another and listen to each other and respect each other even when we get on each others' nerves, or disagree with each others' choices, or just want some peace and quiet." Because I am reasonably sure that one day I am going to be the old lady who doesn't quite understand why I am irritating my grown-up children so much, but will feel like I have something valuable to create to their lives anyway.[/quote]

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