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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for the solidarity. To be clear, I have had her blocked for years.  She got a new number, woke me up, and freaked me out. I got in the shower before blocking that new number, which is now blocked.

Make no mistake, though. All someone has to do is get a new number if they want to get through to you.

After years with this person harassing me I shouldn't have responded. It gets exhausting to have to look around corners.

We've considered a restraining order but this contact is intermittent and she hasn't threatened us.

My cell phone number is associated with a million things from school emergency contact sheet to credit cards and business cards or I'd change it.

Today is a better day. We had to talk to my daughter yesterday about safety and never getting in someone's car. She's had that talk before but it seemed more pressing now.

Phone line is quiet and email block is set.

On another note, sometimes I follow DCUM threads about abusive mothers and I see so much negativity.  Those victim blaming and "suck it up and grow up" posts look so much like my own parents' gaslighting that I was hesitant to even post this vent.

Thanks for not doing that. I'm an adult with a good life. It's just challenging to know she's going to bust down our firewall every so often. I don't even know what it would be like to have a mother to care about or even as a neutral and distant party. Mine has always been a threat like hurricane season or mosquitoes. There's no accommodating it-- just protective measures.

Considering that i have no parental figures and had to come up with a plan for marriage and parenthood with no role models I think I get by pretty well. I also know that you have to be a functional orphan to know what it's like to build these things from scratch.

Again, it's worked out ok. People with parents like mine tend to fall into one of three categories: broken and helpless; broken and aggressive (the gas lighters) or pathologically efficient and unstoppable. I tend to be in the last category, though at the moment I texted back I was on high alert, scared as hell  the hurricane was about to hit.

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