Reply to MIL's erratic generosity making it hard to plan

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[quote=Anonymous]I am lucky enough to have a very generous MIL but it is making it hard to plan financially. MIL has helped us out enormously with car and house purchases and other generous gifts like vacations. She herself is extremely frugal and built up her wealth through very hard work and thrift. But she is very cagegy about what she actually has and making definite plans - and as a result I have no clue really if she has millions or just a decent nest egg that will not outlast her. The complication is that her supposed wealth and her demonstrated generosity mean that my DH refuses to engage in financial planning for his own retirement or college savings because he believes "mom will pay for it." Thankfully my own retirement is on track and I can't worry about DHs because there is nothing I can do about his. But I am very worried about college. Despite my MILs overall thriftiness she does not seem to really make big fiancial decisions very reasonably - she has said several times for example that she believes we shouldn't save for college because DS will not get financial aid if we do ...

To be clear, I don't think MIL owes me or my DS anything. But my DH's possibly misplaced reliance on her bailing him out means that DH basically refuses to take part in any planning for college savings. He also refuses to sit down and talk to his mother about it.

So this basically leaves me with 2 options: talk to MIL myself (fraught) or just unilaterally save on my own for DS's college and hope for the best. Meanwhile DH will be putting the money he should be saving for college into discretionary things like vacations and his own hobbies. Which I doubt I will be able to stand.

Help?[/quote]

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