Reply to How do we feel about apologies?

Forum Index » Kids With Special Needs and Disabilities

Reply to "How do we feel about apologies?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]All my children have been hit at one time or another child while at school and we have never received an apology and would not expect one given the setting and the young age of the children when the incidents occurred I think. All the kids who did the hitting are NT as far as I know are NT except for one. It happened during a meltdown and the child lashed out and hit the two children next to him and one happened to be DD. It wasn't a light hit but she was uninjured.

I think there are privacy issues that arise in these types of situations happen at school. The teachers usually don't report this kind of conflict unless there is an injury and even if there is an injury they never tell you the name of the other child. We did not receive any communication from the school but DD told me what happened.

I'm with you DH on this but I don't think it's that the parents don't feel a need or obligation to apologize. I think it's his second idea that they are ashamed/embarrassed or possibly are struggling so hard that getting their child to apologize may create more problems. I know the parents in this situation and I know how desperate they are to help their child and how hard they were working every day to take him to all kinds of doctors and therapists. This child also had significant speech delays so I would guess it likely he never told his parents it was DD who was struck. I would never want the parent of a special needs child to feel pressured to "out" her child to another parent by having to offer a formal apology like a note or by making it a big deal in front of me. I would think they are having a hard enough time and I would not want to create any additional stress.

In a case where one DC hit a friend at around the same age, I did make him write an apology note because they were having a disagreement over a ball or something and he made a bad choice. This DC has no special needs, no speech issues and normally had very good social skills. He was perfectly capable of resolving the issue without hitting his friend. As I write this I think the difference for me is that some SN children with emotional regulation issues aren't making bad conscious choices. To some extent they can't help it. Through therapy and counseling they are trying to catch up but they need time.

As a parent of a child with a different kind of special needs I think it's important to give the parents and children the benefit of the doubt and assume they are on the case. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics