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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nagging is no fun. Gottman says you need a 5-1 ratio of positive comments to negative to keep a relationship healthy. So, even if you can't stop being naggy, you can increase your positive comments.

Like (these might sounds stupid to you):
- Thank you! That was awsome!
- You look handsome, I love you in that shirt!
- Thanks, I appreciate you taking out the trash.
- You are so good at [fill in the blank, playing with the child, making dinner, going down on me]
- Yeah, that car IS cool.
- Great idea, we should take the kids to the zoo!

Think of it as a turning TOWARD your spouse instead of away. I think he uses an example of a husband pointing a bird out to his wife. His wife doesn't really care about birds, actually, she thinks they are gross, but she cares about him. So she says, "oh, cool, a cardinal!" instead of nothing. Easy, positive interaction.

I'm going to say this is right on. DH and I are very very positive in our interactions. And we are struggling through things, but at least we aren't blasting each other. And we are still together.[/quote]

This is a really nice post. Thanks!

I do this because I a mange a customer service staff and we try to say 10 positive things for every negative customer interaction.[/quote]

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