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[quote=Anonymous]OP here...thank you for the responses! I tried talking to him tonight about our problems and he told me to find a solution (he becomes hostile when I bring this subject up). He said he sees the problem, but the fact that he doesn't care enough to address the issue causes me distress. I told him I'm depressed and feel like I'm failing as a mother and wife...and he told me to fix it. I wouldn't have a problem if it was just after our second baby, but he was the same way after our first (he always had an excuse; we were only intimate when trying to conceive). After our first I lost weight, wore sexier undergarments (which he listed as a reason for not wanting to be intimate), cooked, cleaned the house, etc. I've set up date nights where we can stay home, have wine, and connect -- yet we just watch TV. I've bought relationship books to read together, looked up couples therapy, etc.; he hasn't embraced any of them. I've tried asking him if a divorce would be better and he says no because he wants the kids to have a family. I want the same thing, but I can't picture the rest of my life this way (and can't help but wonder if he has someone on the side who fulfills his needs). I'm going to give it another year and see what happens.[/quote]

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