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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "I am so angry at my husband-- how do you handle silent withdrawal?"
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[quote=Anonymous]That is absolutely emotional abuse and is very toxic to a relationship. The message here is, "either comply with my preferences at all times, or you cease to exist. Only my needs and feelings matter." And the fact that he apologizes later means nothing. What is he doing to fix it for next time? Is he in therapy? Does he have a list of phrases or actions to use instead? If he's not actually fixing it, then he is telling you, that he KNOWS that this is cruel and innappropriate but he values his own comfort with the status quo over you feeling like you matter at all in the relationship. Next time, do not engage more than once. He goes into silent mode and you say, "If you want to be in a relationship with me, you need to be able to kindly communicate even when you are upset. We can talk about this behavior when you are ready to apologize." Then leave the room. [/quote]
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