Reply to Afraid to allow 11 DD back to new friend's house

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[quote=Anonymous]My 11 DD has become friends with a girl in her class, "Susan", that is not in my DD's usual circle of friends. This week Susan asked my DD to come over after school to play. Before I said yes I emailed the parents to make sure it was okay and the response back was factual but not friendly. I don't know the girl or her parents.

I figured it would be okay for 2 hours and then I'd pick up my DD so I could meet the family. The mom came out to greet me when I arrived and was very nice.

This is what I am struggling with - they live in a very impoverished area of the county (we no longer live in the DC area but rural southside Virginia) and their yard/house was a *mess*. Not like a regular busy family mess, but torn sheets for curtains, trash strewn all over yard, dirty. Also Susan has an older brother in high school and the dad didn't come outside to say hello.

I don't want to discourage this friendship with Susan because they seem to like each other but I don't think I would ever feel comfortable allowing my DD to go back there. And it's not just because they are poor - it's that they are in a remote area, with people I don't know and the chaos of the home was giving me a bad vibe.

Was going to invite Susan to come to our house next and take it from there.

If you were me, and Susan invited your child over to play again, would you let her go? I feel like I'm judging them because they are poor as well as teaching my DD a bad life lesson.

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