Reply to Tell me about your teen getting to the other side of depression and/or suicidal talk?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm sorry you are going through this.  We had an awful couple of years starting in 9th grade and I have to say, it was some of the worst times of my life going through this with my son.  I used to get calls from the school and from parents telling me that my son was talking about suicide.  No one wanted to allow their child to be friends with my son so he became more and more isolated.  Each day when I would come home, I had to find someone to watch my younger kids for 15 minutes so I could check the house to be sure my son hadn't killed himself before we got there - and because I couldn't deal with other people's reactions, I had to find someone new each day and come up with some new excuse each time.  I would get physically ill each day on my way home from work because I didn't know what I'd find.  He isolated himself in his room and barely even came out to eat.

He was never hospitalized.  His therapist felt that I was capable of keeping him alive and that the damage from separating him from me (he has/had attachment issues due to foster care and adoption) would outweigh the good that could come from hospitalization.  To make things worse, as a social worker, I had spent some time working with people who were suicidal and families whose kids committed suicide.  So, I knew people who had tried so hard to help their sons and daughters and did everything right, yet their child successfully committed suicide.

What really seems to have made the difference for my son was getting his life successful.  I was able to get him into a program at school that he liked and where he was capable (he was failing many subjects - and still does unless he has a lot of support).  I found a church that had a really good youth group - we tried many before we found a good fit.  Boy Scouts and activities didn't work, but we tried that as well.  I restructured our whole family life so that we had weekends doing things together - we actually went away every weekend because at home it was too easy to to separate directions.  Things got worse before they got better - for months, he was sleeping on my bedroom floor, showering in my bathroom (with a towel over the door for privacy, of course), going to work with one of us when school was out.

It was two very difficult years, with one being very dark.  But, if you saw him today, you wouldn't believe any of this story.  He is medicated for anxiety, not depression.  He also takes a low dose of medication for ADHD, which I am not convinced is necessary, but his doctors are and he's doing well so I don't say anything.  He has a job, a girlfriend and plans for a future.  He does volunteer work.  We're starting to look at post-high school education (not college - that's not a realistic goal) and schools are really interested in him.  He is extremely successful in his vo-tech program and has found some friends there - he never fit in at our home schools because he struggles so much.  But at vo-tech, he is with a lot of kids who aren't successful in traditional classrooms.  I could not have imagined this two years ago.  I don't have any words of wisdom, just am sending good thoughts to you and your child. [/quote]

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