Reply to How long did it take?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "How long did it take? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Go back into counseling together. It's not a smooth process. People get stuck at times.

He has the right to take as long as he needs to work through his feelings. He may never get over his anger and hurt, and he may never trust you again, no matter how hard he works at it and no matter if you're 100 percent faithful and transparent from now on. Or it may take him a long, long time. That's just the natural consequence of betrayal.

If he's using demeaning language towards you, that's not positive for either of you and needs to stop. He can express his feelings without name calling. But maybe he does despise you now. If that's the case, you shouldn't stay together, because that's not something that can be overcome. A counselor can help you two figure that out.

Maybe he's creating punishments or tests for you, but that needs to be redirected and focused into something more positive. It takes time and the passing of multiple tests to earn back someone's trust and to allow healing to happen. You don't get to set the deadline on that. It's just like you don't get to tell people when they have to stop grieving and feeling the effects of the death of their loved one. You basically killed whatever you had together, killed the trusting part of him, and even as he works to try to move on and rebuild from scratch with you, he still will feel this terrible loss.

Some people know right away that they can't move past a betrayal, and some try and stay together and see if it's possible for them, especially when they have kids to think about and when they do still love each other. For now, you're choosing to stay together and see how it goes, which means you both need to work on things. No guarantees. But see a counselor to help you both figure out how to get through it.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics