Reply to Should I tell my kid to fail?

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "Should I tell my kid to fail?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP, you're working with a therapist so I shouldn't try to second guess you but I was curious to note that the only two options seem to be either getting straight As or failing.  That sounds like it plays into your son's mindset that those are the only two options out there - either the light (As) or the darkness (Fs).  The reality is that if he didn't try his hardest he might get a B or a C.

I once read a CBT book with the title chapter "Dare to Be Average."  As a recovering perfectionist, I remind myself of that on a regular basis.  Average is okay.

And always remember that thinking of yourself as a "huge failure" is the flip side of being a "huge success."  You're making yourself out to be the worst person ever when in reality you're not.  You're just average.  And being a huge failure can be an attractive option when you have a desperate need to control what happens to you - because you may not have succeeded but you went down in glorious flames and you don't have to live with the anxiety of not knowing whether you're a success.

Anyway, I'm sure you know all this already but I just noticed the way you described it (utter perfection or utter failure) and wondered if that contributed slightly to the problem.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics