Reply to Should I tell my kid to fail?

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[quote=Anonymous]MS DS is a strong student who has been getting straight As.  We are proud of his effort and have told him that, but it has never been a point of emphasis for us.  He has significant anxiety about grades (among many other things) and we care very much that he is so stressed that he won't continue to perform well.  He has told us that he'll be viewed as "not smart" if he doesn't do well in school and has unfortunately viewed grades as the end all be all.  We have a tutor because he has asked for help, particularly in advanced math (which the school suggested and he wanted to take).  A therapist has suggested that we need to desensitize him and give DS permission/instruction/etc (not sure how we would word it to him) to tank a test so that he can see that it's not the end of the world.  We know he will eventually get lower grades and want him to develop coping skills to handle disappointment.  I suppose the question is how to you get a stressed out kid to chill about grades?  Reassurance from us hasn't gotten us anywhere. [/quote]

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