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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
A less ideal option, but one that is better than divorce - decide between yourself & DH how much of his income you're willing to consider as no longer "ours" but instead, exclusively his. Let him keep that designated amount of funds aside in a separate account. When his parents call him, he's free to disburse as much from that side account as he feels moved to, but when that account empties, there is no dipping into the pooled family accounts. Perhaps that amount will be 5% of whatever he makes, or perhaps it will be a capped dollar amount. This is obviously less ideal, but if he has this unhealthy enabling dynamic with them that it's not realistic to expect him to break anytime soon, then this policy at least contains the impact on your family - and you hopefully can be less resentful about it because you know exactly how much it is and you would have agreed to no longer consider it "ours." Plenty of couples have arrangements like this - the bulk of their salary is pooled "family" money, but a small side pot is separate and not subject to consensus-based decisions. Usually this is more for expensive hobbies, but no reason it couldn't be applied here as well.[/quote]
I like this. After years of conditioning/abuse/brainwashing by his parents, it will be hard for your DH to completely cut them off. He needs to get his own retirement in order, pay off student loans, establish a good financial base for your nuclear family. Then from his own account, he can give money to his parents.[/quote]

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