Reply to Ned advice about gift giving, taking back and family drama - LONG

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[quote=Anonymous]AGH – I don’t even know where to begin.  Please let me know if I’m right or my DH is right.  About 2 years ago my MIL gave us her old living room set.  It consisted of a loveseat, 2 chairs, coffee table and 3 end tables – all matching.  We thanked her and were very grateful.

About 3 months ago my DH’s sister (my SIL) finished building an in-law suite that’s attached to her house but a sort of completely separate living space.  She needed to finish it because ILs (her husband’s parents) were coming for an extended visit (about a month) and she wanted to give them a separate living space to stay.

Well, my MIL told SIL that she had “the perfect chairs” that would fit perfectly in the in-law suite living room area and told my DH that his sister “needed” the chairs she gave us.  My DH let them take the chairs and one end table.  (She also took a nightstand table from us that MIL also gave us at the same time)

Toward the end of the ILs visit, SIL called me and asked about the furniture.  She said she didn’t know if we wanted it or not because of the way MIL was talking and asked if we were using it.  I told her honestly that we don’t have any other living room furniture and we were using it.  That she could keep the nightstand table because we weren’t really using that, but the livingroom furniture was our main pieces.  She said she totally understood and would drop off the chairs and end table as soon as the in-laws left, which they were flying home about 3 days later (that weekend).

It’s been about 2 months now and SIL hasn’t returned the furniture, hasn’t called or made any effort.  In fact, this past weekend she took pictures of her new in-law suite and posted on facebook and the pics all show my furniture.

I mentioned this to DH and he got mad saying it was a gift to begin with and we should just be grateful we got it for that long.  I, OTOH, now have half a LR set.  I want SIL to either take the whole set (which wouldn’t fit in the new space) or give us back the chairs.  DH won’t let me confront his sister about it – he said it’s not her fault MIL offered her the chairs.

So now – what do I do?  Do I junk the rest of the LR furniture and suck it up and buy a whole new set?  Contact SIL behind DH’s back?  For all I know SIL could have simply forgotten and if I remind her she’ll give it back.  We really can’t afford to get new furniture, but I will if we have to.  And right now, we only have a small love seat in that room – we drag our kitchen chairs into the LR when people come to visit.  Oh, and it’s an unusual enough set where I can’t find nice chairs (and 1 endtable) that matches.  
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