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[quote=Anonymous]The past year or two I've had a breakdown with my mom.  I had always considered her my best friend, but after a VERY tough year with my husband and son, instead of being there to support me, my mom honestly became someone I barely recognize.

I have tried every which way to reach her, apologize for my part in the breakdown, and reason with her but in our relationship, I was alway the "parent" and she was always the "child."  I feel this now more than ever -- and I was so broken down during that time that I really needed a mom.  She never really was one to me, and I realize that more than ever now.

Yet she is my MOM!  I don't want to just accept the breakdown as the new normal.  But whereas I admit that I was not a great daughter (as I withdrew during this dark time in my personal life), she has gone out of her way to hurt me (taken down my pictures, excluded me from family events, talked about me and my family to our relatives, spoken negatively about my son and husband to my other adult children...).  My dad is totally out of the picture, and I just feel sad that I have no one to parent me (and really never did.)  I was the kid that made my own lunches, did my own laundry, and found my own rides to every event growing up.

I'm wondering if doing some family therapy could possibly help.  Has anyone done this with a positive outcome?  We did it a few times when I was a kid, but when the therapist made demands of my mom (come up with a budget, bring back a list of helpful things..) she stopped going.  Wonder if it would be more pain shopping -- but I'd be willing to do it if it could get us to a better place for my children and for me.

Thanks!  I'm in NOVA if anyone has a suggestion.  I'm open to advice too -- for anyone who has BTDT.

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