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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
In my twenties I understood I needed to move very far away from the dysfunction. Which I did.

I understand that with your job and your husband's job and children in school, this might not be feasible, but honestly moving is the best solution. You won't be the bad guy, since you will be "moving for work", and you will actually be happy to see them again, you know, when you can take off from work, every year (not more than once a year).

[/quote]

We lived about four hours away for about four years, and it was perfect (just saw everyone on holidays). The problem is that my husband's family lives here too, and they are completely wonderful. Also, as early as when we were dating, he was clear that he eventually wanted to move back here and raise his kids here, in the same place he was raised and near his family, and I was always in agreement with that. So when he got the perfect job offer here a couple years ago, we moved. I had a REALLY hard time with it, because we were moving to my family as well and I knew that would be challenging, but I also knew I'd agreed to it and he really wanted it, and that it would be good for our kids because all of their cousins are here, and some fantastic aunts and uncles among the "good" eggs in the family, and his parents (who our children are incredibly close with and even stay with during the day now while we're at work, now that his parents are retired). We've got the best of the best here, but also some of the worst of the worst. If it were not for his family, I'd run away as fast as I could. [/quote]

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