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[quote=Anonymous]Dcum, please be my Anonymous sounding board so I don't ruin my real life relationships.

My friend is in an ethnic group where family is very close and intertwined. Friend and sibling still live at home (long out of college). My friend has a brother. About 7 years ago when he was in college their family had a bit a melt down when it came out that he had been discretely meeting a close male friend from high school on the weekends. None of us (my friend's friends) were particularly surprised and it seemed clear to us what this meant (he was gay). The family responded by essentially painting this other man (who brother went to high school with) as Satan incarnate who simply led brother astray. This man's name has been like voldemort in their house. They forbade brother from ever contacting man again.

We have occasionally over the years started conversations broaching the topic that brother might be gay with friend only to have it shot down again and again. Friend is actually a crazy lgbtq advocate so this block has always seemed strange to us.

A few months ago friends brother announces that he's getting married in one month. To a man. To THE man that he used to run away with years ago. And they've been planning the wedding for like a year. Entire family is shell shocked.  Didn't know brother was gay, didn't know brother was dating, brother had basically been living an entirely separate life. While living with the family.

Friends family and friend refused to go to the wedding (friend refused place of honor in the wedding). Did it saying that brother and new husband had been disrespectful and that they felt lied to and betrayed. Friend says they've lost their only sibling.

I want to go yell at the whole family (who I've known since childhood). They seem completely oblivious as to how this happened. I'm so sad for all of them, they were the closest of families. And they are being completely histrionic. I know I can't go do that but I'm so frustrated and thought typing out how frustrated I am might make me less frustrated!  Sigh. Brother clearly didn't handle this well but it's just so frustrating to watch the whole family fall apart. [/quote]

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