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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You aren't being firm enough, you say you "tried to set boundaries" but that isn't enough.  The ultimate boundary is to tell her that you will leave her and take the children if she doesn't get help, and you have to mean it.

Frankly I wouldn't stay in that situation, she is a classic abuser.  Anyone who has a run in with the law due to their own anger is someone that I wouldn't want around my children.

Leave her.[/quote]

This. Absolutely this. I drew this line with my wife and was very, very clear. She was raised in an abusive home where screaming at someone was absolutely normal. I didn't and it's shocking to me when this happens. I actually put my foot down when she said "well, it's not like I hit her" to justify a rage incident. I basically stopped cold, looked in her eyes and very calmly said if that happens, this is not going to be a fight. It's going to be me walking out the door with the kids because they are innocent and do not need rage and pain imprinted on them by adults who should know better. And I made it clear, I would do whatever it took to make certain these kids were safe, including leaving with them.

She's not a bad person and I think she even realized that if it got to be that bad, then yes, she probably can't parent safely. She went to counseling and is a much, much happier, healthier person.

There's fallout. I don't trust my wife 100 percent. I am learning that trust is built and that times takes what it takes. But I stand by my firm line. As a parent, our job is to protect our children. And that includes from abuse from their other parent.[/quote]

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