Reply to How did your feelings about your parents change over time?

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[quote=Anonymous]I realized that my parents are not going to change. That's the first thing you must internalize and accept. Nothing you can do will change them or fix anything to make up for the past.

Second, I understood that they are human, fumbling along as much as I am, doing what they can with what they have. You have to accept that, to have compassion for them and for yourself.

Third, I realized how important it is to allow and acknowledge that whatever negative feelings you have about it all are valid, but aren't going to change anything about them or anything they have done.

All you can change is how you handle things, how you accept and then are able to let go of things.

Building healthy boundaries makes it all easier.

OP, your mom sounds like she's stuck being pulled between your dad's needs and yours. And what about her needs? How hard was that for her? Are you and your dad similar? She did her best to help you out two years ago, but why is it still an issue now? I do hope you find a therapist to help you sort it out. [/quote]

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