Reply to Age appropriate way to explain domestic abuse to a 9 year old ?

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[quote=Anonymous]My friend who's just left an abusive situation with his husband is staying with us.
Tonight we were talking together and he broke down and I was comforting him and reassuring him he was doing the right thing. I said the words " ABC might be true, but that didn't give " J" the right to hurt you are to hit you."

Didn't realize my 9 year old had gotten out of bed, but he had and overheard this exchange.

9 year old loved both of his uncles dearly and has been asking when  Uncle  J will be coming to visit.  My husband and I didn't tell them much, just that my friend would be coming to visit for a little while.  We did end up telling them they were getting divorced. They have friends with divorced parents and divorced relatives, so they  know divorce means they don't live together anymore.  We didn't explain why and kind of deflected questions about J visiting.

I did go to talk to DS about it. He asked me why I was saying mean things and lying about J. I told him I was sorry he heard me say the things I did , but that it was true that J had hurt my friend. He didn't want to hear that and didn't want to talk about it, and he pretty much went back to bed.

I'm sure I handled that poorly.

My husband thinks we should let it be and answer the questions as they come up, or let friend field some of them.  I'm not sure how I feel about that approach. I definitely don't think it's appropriate to expect friend to explain anything.

Try talking him to tomorrow or wait it out?

Would appreciate some tips on  discussing the topic.[/quote]

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