Reply to Dreamed my father died last night. I'm estranged from him...I need some DCUM therapy.

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Dreamed my father died last night. I'm estranged from him...I need some DCUM therapy."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I had a dream that my father died last night.  It felt so real, I woke up very distressed and haven't been able to stop thinking about him/the dream.  We are estranged, I haven't spoke to him in many years.  I did see him at a my grandmother's funeral (my mom's mother) and gave him a brief hug about 8 years ago, but other than that we have had no contact in over 20 years.

He divorced my mother after 34 years of marriage.  He had been cheating on her for several years.  Soon after the divorce, he married the other woman and had a child with that woman.  We stopped speaking after the divorce.  I have never met his new wife (they are now divorced) I also have never met the child he had with this woman.

We are essentially estranged because he lied so much. When I was a teenager, he used to beat my a$$ for lying.  I mean if I lied about anything and he caught me, he would whip me severely with a belt.  But while he was beating my a$$ for lying, he was lying to us (the family) everyday.  So I decided I was done with him.   I remember when he told me that he was divorcing my mom, he said "I just want to be happy" but one thing he would say all the time to me and my brother when we would say the same thing was "Happiness is for children".

He still has a relationship with my brother and his children, so through them I hear just a little bit about how he is doing, but that is very little.  Anyway, this dream is really bothering me.  Do I want him to die and we never resolve this? I thought I didn't care, so I'm confused why this is consuming me today. I don't hate him, I thought I was ambivalent but clearly I am not.  Honestly, I don't want to actually talk to him, but I don't want to feel guilty or whatever it is you feel when someone dies and you didn't have closure.  He is 77 and I am 44.

Should I write a letter? Please help.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics